Age 26

Long time followers know that at the beginning of each new year, I write a post reflecting on the year which has passed. Age 26 is weeks later than usual. This has been the hardest one to write. It saw many drafts but in the end I took a creative escape route – I attempted to capture 2020 and the lethargy and fear which has seeped into 2021, in prose.

Age 26

The sun rose, clouds dispersed and we saw a blue sky; we hoped everything would remain this way. But in the bark we felt it – in the soil, in the angelic and in the devilish sighs upon our shoulders. Naively, in our stoicism, we ignored the gathering birds, the migration of geese, and we travelled, we kissed, we cuddled – we spoke death into each other’s mouths. 

I can still smell and taste the rain. The waves crashing against the rocks by flooded harbours. There was life so easily stolen in those moments.

And so, we closed our doors; leaned into the quiet and prayed in kaleidoscopic ways. Not every prayer is spoken. Not every prayer is given to a god. I uttered many to myself – counted the syllables, gifted them as wishes to a night sky in mourning. Grief entered many hearts – sung too many to sleep – yet awoke love, stoked the coals of our desire to do more than survive. 

We still made sparks; we burned tall great flames. We made Prometheus proud in our capacity to cherish human rights and lives so fiercely; we lit a match beneath the earth and watched it smoulder. We learned ‘we’ does not apply to all. We learned hatred, bigotry and prejudice writhe together like snakes. We are still pulling fangs from unhinged jaws. 

I can still smell and taste the rain. The waves crashing against the rocks by flooded harbours. There was life so easily stolen in those moments. 

The summer turned cold. Isolation became a given name – a practice to preach. We found ourselves stumbling in the dark and months on we still are. New days have dawned but soil is mixed with ash. There is a bitterness on our tongues and there are snowflakes in our eyes. 

I am cold and I am searching for hope. Tell me, do you have it? Will I find it in my pockets?

There is rain. Waves crash and harbours flood. Life, is still so easily stolen.


Age 25

Age 24

Age 23

Age 22

7 thoughts on “Age 26

  1. ivor20 says:

    I especially adored this thought provoking stanza Kristiana,…
    ” We still made sparks; we burned tall great flames. We made Prometheus proud in our capacity to cherish human rights and lives so fiercely; we lit a match beneath the earth and watched it smoulder. We learned ‘we’ does not apply to all. We learned hatred, bigotry and prejudice writhe together like snakes. We are still pulling fangs from unhinged jaws.”

    Liked by 1 person

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