Last night a storm raged outside.
Last night I forgot how to apologise.
Lightning streaked the sky;
electric crackles of the fury
I had no valid reason to feel
yet I continued to chew the insides
of my cheeks and furrow my brow
in thunder loud anger.
Even when the rains moved on
and the blue flashes buried themselves
into the distance;
I still drew blood instead of loved
the sound of your breathing beside me,
the softness of your slumber,
your freckled skin pulled taut
across your back, your body
I would protect against all odds.
The sun has since begun
to rise in the East and permeate
the bank of grey, dissipating
wreaths of last night’s sadness,
last night’s anger and still
I have forgotten how to apologise
for leaving my body,
for pulling the plug on the life
you love and live for,
for merging with the black and blue
clouds and bruising rapidly in the storm;
for letting go, when I should have held on.
Poem: © Kristiana Reed 2019