I used to think sex was about what they wanted

because that’s what my ex boyfriend and howard stern said

and sometimes, on the weekend, they paid for it

or when i was short on rent

I got so completely turned off by it

I stopped being able to have sex

i thought it was sort of empowering

until one of them busted open my head

and then, just like that,

it wasn’t

I tried everything

I shelled out for therapy sessions

lotions, vibrators

practiced elaborate dances

with my hands, played

just the right sort of music

but all with the wrong sort of man