It’s been brought to my attention
I search for happiness in other people
instead of myself,
in a culture of self love, self care,
mindfulness and meditation
although they might just be the same thing.
I convince myself every morning
that I’m worth a reflection,
I to do list my time
in an effort to ward off loneliness;
a hex of imaginary busy.
It’s been brought to my attention
I have time to be myself
and not the companion of anyone else.
I know who she is, the taste of her name,
the way she smiles or talks through tears
in a valiant effort to feel normal again.
It’s been brought to my attention
happiness is a choice,
a decision I can either make
or throw away,
but I’m picking through my options
like grains of sand.
I kiss them all with bitter salt,
let them scratch my knees,
fill the lines in my hands
and get lost in my wet hair;
dripping with perspiration
of waiting for something or someone
who isn’t there.
It’s been brought to my attention
I am on a journey to discover
the truth in being alone
I suppose I should start to look,
if only I knew where.
© Kristiana Reed 2018
My attention was brought
to your poetry … happily!
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Haha, thank you! 🙂
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This is amazing.
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Thank you!
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Magnificent, Kristiana!
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Thank you! ☺️
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I think it’s very important for everyone to reserve a good amount of time of their life alone. Sometimes being with others you are often in acting mode. Spending enough time discovering yourself not only allows you to learn to like who you really are, but be more able to show others the real you, as well.
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ooooo beautiful.
‘I’m picking through my options
like grains of sand.’ … clear, articulated language with power.
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Aww thank you Lois ☺️ really pleased you enjoyed it.
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Loved it. If only we knew where to look!
So beautifully expressed.
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Thank you 😊 glad you enjoyed it.
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Have nominated this one for Go Forward Thursday on GoDogGo Cafe site.
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Thank you so much!
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There is a beautiful melancholy to this self-reflection that is so relatable, so familiar
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Nice! I love your last line.
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Thank you!
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This poem really speaks to me, very heart touching. You’re a talented writer, could it be you’re really only in your 20’s? You seem to have a lot of awareness for one so young.
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Thank you! Yes, just 25. I really appreciate your support ❤
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It took me far too many years to realise that happiness came from within ourselves , once that was realised life became so much smoother ❤️
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