I’ve struggled
To write this
Compose
This
Myself
Into something more
Than painful memory
Into more than
Mother’s shock and horror
Sympathetic stares and
Uneducated quips of
‘Finding myself’.
There is nothing
Nothing to find
At the bottom
Of a barrel
In the barrel
Of a shotgun
Nor in between the train tracks
Into which I was gazing.
Nothing but a stark reminder
I’m numb.
Adrenaline coursing
In someone else’s veins
Palpitations
In someone else’s chest
Crocodile tears
In someone else’s eyes.
I struggle
To write this
Compose myself
And this
Letters and words
Disappear, drift
Afraid of giving life
To the time I felt least
Alive.
Blood gushing
In someone else’s ears
Kind words rushing
To someone else’s feet.
Hands tight
On the rail
Bearing into my side.
Knuckles white
Against
The chrome distorting my face.
Breath warm, ragged
Soft clouds saving me
From the dark light.
There is nothing
Nothing to find
In between the tracks
Into which I was searching,
Only my reflection
A reflection of my
Aversion to death.
“I saw my life in a stranger’s face
And it was mine.” – Alive, Sia.
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Day 10 – Pick a one line song lyric to serve as an epigraph to your poem. Then, write the poem to accompany it.
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For the challenge, click here.
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